Full Circle: A Short History of Internetting

by Tom Ellis

Date: Tue, 30 Apr 1996 20:02:15
Subject: wiredancer
see me here
walking on moonbeams
dancing on the wires
see me here
lifting my head up from the fog of the daily grind
sliding between domains on a ship forged of silicon and glass
coming home
full circle
dancing on the wires

Date: Tue, 7 May 1996 20:09:38
Subject: Re: Lag Ba'Omer
The Internet is not necessarily confining...it can let the mind go where the body cannot. True, touch and physical interaction is currently and may always be impossible here. Is that confining? Only if one allows it to be. The Internet is not a replacement to physical existence, but an augmentation, and addition to. I can come in contact with someone here, and later perhaps meet face to face, maybe even touch, if only just to shake hands.

The Internet promises freedom, not confinement. I would submit that television does more to "confine" us than the Internet. Television is, at least currently, non interactive. At least the Internet lets minds, if not bodies touch.

The Internet is not confining. It is liberating. I only hope that we remain vigilant for those who would censor us, attempt to control this medium. That is indeed the price of freedom.

Date: Sun, 19 May 1996 09:37:56
Subject: net.betrayal
Betrayal is inherent in this medium. Misunderstanding runs rampant. It is hard for people to trust, to believe in each other, when they cannot see each other's faces. Every time I make a net.friend I find out that they were not what I thought it would seem. Jealousy, anger, misunderstanding. Hurtfulness seems to be par for the course in this space.

Trust doesn't seem to exist in this medium anymore, if indeed it ever did.

Date: Fri, 24 May 1996 22:04:20
Subject: perfection
twirling blades dance in minds eye
hands arms legs dissolve into the whirl
neverending moment in time
brief instant of infinity

ever sought
briefly kissed

Date: Fri, 31 May 1996 10:37:47
Subject: So Long Friends
Due to some very recent personal revelations, I have decided that online community is no longer for me. This is a personal decision, I cannot deal anymore with online relationships and communities. For me there is just too much hurt out there to be had, too many misunderstandings. For me I am beginning to think that real friendship cannot be had here. I don't know, I am confused right now.

The past year + has been great, this list has come to mean alot to me, and I will always treasure the memories.

The website will remain as is, I won't be finishing the new set of pages, but the current ones can stay as long as Alan and Pip want me to keep them.

Take care friends, maybe if my personal feelings about net life change I will be back some day. In the past when I have tried to unsub I have come crawling right back, unable to do without. It might happen again, so who knows.

Yours as always,

Date: Mon, 3 Jun 1996 11:20:18
Subject: she said he said
oooooo she said through the thick lag, i dont know about this, as she watched the drooling text ooze. dont worry he said, its good for what ails ya, trust me , trust me, trust me. it was hot as she typed her fingers were loose as they scrabbled text out, spitting it out splitting the words. i morphed, watching them as they bandied their ascii tongues about, wanting to touch but never touching, kisses only asterisks, cold snowflakes.

watch watch watch us play they cried, flinging their minds together in a frenzy. he @dug them a bridal suite and they had slow netsex through the lag lag lag waiting through the lag for the next stroke, for his text to plunge into her again. the orgasm was digitized, what was the RFC for MIME encapuslated bliss again???

chasing another dream i vanished into the moomist and @went home to sleep

dream chaser

Date: Sun, 22 Sep 1996 18:11:33
Subject: Re: Stupid Rag
>We're all hard-wired to look for Purpose/Meaning/Order (whatever!) and I
>want to know WHY.
Isn't it simple why we look for order? Without that driving need we would not be able to assemble any kind of working reality. We look for patterns, for reason even when there may not be any. The reality that we consent to share amongst ourselves is but one manifestation of this need, so are the spirits men seek in the shadows of the night, or the deities in the temples, at least on one level.

That doesn't mean that there isn't necessarily an infinite force behind it all, doesn't mean there is either. I am reasonably certain that we cannot comprehend the true nature of the Infinite any more than a protozoa could admire impressionist art however, so again, the shapes and names we give to such things are but a reflection of our need to catagorise, to put a name and face to everything that we think of or experience.

We all look for patterns in the matrix.

Date: Wed, 6 Nov 1996 18:13:06
Subject: Long time no see
Hello again friends, its been awhile since I've talked to many of you. Just sitting here in my chair eyeing my evening repast of email and smelling the coffee as it brews off in the kitchen. Sorry if I have been so quiet lately, work and other activities all conspired to lend themselves to my drift from this wholesome haven of thought. So I sit here and think of the things that have shaped my net.life, and I say to myself that without Cybermind I have no idea what my level of social interaction online would be today. I was a creature of gopher holes, ftp servers and web sites, a solitary eater of information when I found Cybermind, a freak accident when I clicked on the wrong lycos link (still can't remember what it was I was actually looking for.) I had long since abandoned AOLHell in its early years and no longer frequented chat lines and such, I was just another lone wanderer dancing on thin copper wire.

The description of the list on the old website captured my mind immediately, and not long after I subscribed the denizens of this space captured my heart and imagination as well....hold on, the coffee is done and I want to go get it, brb...ahhh there, much MUCH better now, some particularly fine smoke and fresh ground coffee always hit the spot after a long day of work. But anyways...where was I? Ah yes, it was Cybermind that once again helped me open up my heart and mind to others again, after years of growing inwards. The intellectual stimulation and the emotions invoked in this community brought me to new places both within myself and within the minds of my fellow cyberminders.

Mmmmmm, if I do say so myself I make a fine cup of java (and have been known to write an applet or two as well ;). It was cybermind that showed me MOO, and one particular cyberminder who is still here that showed me a very special moo where I now am a wizard. He knows who he is I think. That is where I have spent much of my time, building and coding onmoo. But I am still here, and that is why I wanted to have this talk with you, just to let you know that I'm alright, a little battered but better for it. I still love this space and I am still yours,

Tom Ellis http://www.lm.com/~tellis/ Cybermind Homepage URL: http://www.lm.com/~tellis/cyber/cm.html

Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 08:46:57
Subject: quietude
silent raindrop
tears in the mist
quiet longings
speckled dew on morning grass

a sparrow
swallows the truth and flies away

Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 15:08:01
Subject: tell me tell you
tell me
your hopes and dreams
tell me
your fears great and small
and i will tell you mine

show me
your aspirations
show me
the things you hold dear
and i will show you mine

tell me
tell you
tell us both
the things we share in this space are ours
this public private space
where you can tell me
and i can tell you


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